A 35-foot giant squid has been found in the happy meal of an unsuspecting McDonalds customer in Southern California. The five year-old boy, Jameson Joom, asked his mother if they could go to McDonalds after his first day of kindergarten, and she obliged. When the two pulled into the drive-thru, Jessica Joom ordered her son a happy meal and proceeded to the first window, then the second window. When she was given her son’s happy meal, Mrs. Joom noticed it was a little heavy, but didn’t think much of it, handing the bag gently to her son in the back seat. When he opened the bag to grab his fries, she heard a piercing shriek.
“It was terrifying. I’ve never heard him scream so loud. He just started yelling, “MOM MOM THERE’S A GIANT SQUID IN MY FRIES!” I told him not be silly because I needed to focus on the road, but when I was slapped in the face by one of the tentacles, I knew he wasn’t kidding anymore. The front windshield shattered and the squid slithered its way out. We were in shock. I still can’t believe it happened. I had heard of people finding hairs in their fries and fingers in their chicken nuggets, but I never expected this. I’m just glad we’re both okay.”
When asked if she was going to file a lawsuit against McDonalds for the incident, Mrs. Joom was dismissive, saying “sometimes things like this just happen.”
The Mad Satirist 