Antonio Brown Sues Antonio Brown, Citing Abuse by Antonio Brown

Antonio Brown has announced that he is taking legal action against himself. The former Tampa Bay receiver and Campbell’s soup advocate is suing on grounds of workplace misconduct and psychological abuse. “I’ve just had enough of this man, man. You’re gonna see. You’re gonna see who the real Antonio Brown is when this all comes out. The people that know me, know me,” said Brown.

Brown was released by the Buccaneers just days after head coach Bruce Arians claimed he was “no longer a Buc,” sending social media into a frenzy. Many have claimed that Brown has not been the same since taking a hit by Vontaze Burfict in a 2016 game against the Bengals, but Brown claims Antonio Brown has always been out of his mind.

“He hates me cause he ain’t me,” said Brown, of Brown. “He’s been on me since I was a kid. Everywhere I go he follows me around. He tells me I’m not the greatest of all time. He says I need help. Help? You see who I am? I’m Antonio Brown. Antonio Brown doesn’t need help.”

Whether we see Antonio Brown step on the field again remains to be seen, but the disgruntled receiver has made one thing clear: he is Antonio Brown, and he’s coming after Antonio Brown.

Antonio Brown to Decide Where Raiders Play Next Year

Where the Oakland Raiders would play their home games for the 2019 season had long been a question. A question that was finally answered when they agreed to play at Oracle Park in San Francisco. The decision was assumed to be final. Sometimes, however, things happen. This time, that thing is Antonio Brown.

In addition to a pay raise, a twenty-five foot golden statue, his own personal locker room, stadium rights, and six-weeks paid vacation, Antonio Brown’s new contract with the Raiders gives the star wide receiver the power to decide where the team plays their home games. It’s to be determined where exactly that will be, but Brown has dropped some hints on his Twitter handle.

“Tel Aviv sure is nice!”

“Looking for houses in Barcelona today!”

“Could get used to Ft. Lauderdale.”

“I’ve always been fascinated by Asian culture. Future home, perhaps?”

Much is still up in the air for the Raiders this season. One thing is for certain, though. Antonio Brown will be getting the football.

“I didn’t tell anyone this, but there are some other details to the contract. One of those details is that Derek Carr must throw me the ball at least twelve times a game. If he doesn’t, I have to be traded immediately, and I get to decide where. Imma get that ball in my hands, boy. Yeahhhhh.”